I have conversations with women all day long. Big, bold, strong, tireless, giving, smart, beautiful women. Executives, entrepreneurs, wives, daughters, sisters, mothers. Women who are fiercely loyal, openly expressive, deeply introspective, heartfully generous. We talk about raising great kids, staying fit, performing well at work, maintaining a passionate marriage, cultivating financial security, and all the marks of what we have come to consider “success”. It’s good to have goals; even better to see results. But how to we get there?
I look at what powerful women have in common—what it takes to show up in the world at full-volume, to look for opportunities not just to survive but to thrive, to maximize the potential of experiences and relationships towards a more conscious community, to move through the world with grace and compassion, and to navigate conflict by repeatedly choosing love over fear—I find it can be distilled down to a number of core principles. If we want to be badass, we must adhere ruthlessly to these eight rules. No slack.
RULES OF BADASS CLUB:
- Your own wellbeing is a priority.
You don’t pretend that everyone else’s needs come first. You’ve renounced martyrdom. You might take care of others first, but you never go without eating or sleeping or making everyone wait for a few minutes while you put yourself in time-out.
- You have a strong statement of purpose and anything that isn’t in alignment with it has to go.
You have determined what it is you are up to here on planet earth and you use that vision as a guiding force in your life. You do not indulge anything that is out of integrity with who you are and you are ruthless in eliminating distraction. You are a living example of what you are bringing forth. You walk the talk. You are the change you want to see in the world.
- You have cultivated a relationship with your feminine essence and do what it takes to tend the fire.
You recognize that we are navigating a culture that values our rational minds and celebrates linear, problem-solving, masculine energy. You know that as a woman, you have an innate, intuitive nature that is fluid, expansive, and grows wild. You have developed the tools to access this creative life force to fuel your existence and fulfill on your purpose.
- You realize that saying no can be an essential expression of love.
You have a handle on your co-dependency quotient and feel secure in enforcing boundaries as a means of being able to sustain your loving presence in the world. You also know the importance of teaching people to fish for themselves, and that in doing so, they not only develop their own self-sustaining skills, but often discover and innovate in ways that serve others.
- You have developed a support system and you’re not afraid to use it.
You have let go of the idea that you have to do it all and fully embrace the vulnerability it takes to ask for help. You even enjoy creating opportunities for others to show their love for you through acts of service.
- At any given time, you can answer the question: What do you need?
No matter what the situation, you have developed a set of criteria by which you check-in with yourself—physically, emotionally, spiritually—to determine your needs, for which you take responsibility, and act accordingly.
- You are willing to be alone.
You acknowledge that we are born alone and we die alone. While you choose to be in the company of others, you never do so to avoid confronting your own self. And you don’t pretend to have the right to mandate others’ thoughts, feelings, or behavior. In fact, every morning you release the ones you love, graciously, to their path.
- You are willing to tolerate uncertainty.
You relish the state of “not knowing” because you know that’s where possibility lives. You have cultivated a practice by which you are able to disconnect from your controlling mind and embrace the natural flow of the universe.